The amount and severity to which I get them is ridiculous. It's become a disability. I miss work, social functions and have to cancel plans with friends or even Troy. They not only are annoying to me, but to Troy, my parents (who employ me) and friends. People get frustrated with me often.
Sometimes I really feel like people don't "get" it. Unless you have suffered from one before, you don't really understand what someone who gets them often has to go through. It isn't just a headache that you can "work through" (too many times have been told to do so), and it's not just an excuse that people came up with who can't handle a headache and want time off or want to just stay at home relaxing.
If you get migraines often, like I do, even people who are more or less sympathetic get frustrated with you, and you get comments like "well what are you doing to help yourself", "make another Dr (or neurologist) appointment", or "pull it together". I'm pretty sure if I could help getting them, I wouldn't willingly subject myself to them, but thanks. I've gone to so many Dr and neurologist appointments that they are going to start banning me since they keep telling me there isn't much else they can tell me or do (which I know, but only go to appease you). Pull it together? Well thanks, I'll do that next time...who knew that's all I had to do??
I'm pretty bitter about migraines if you couldn't tell. It angers me to no end when I see people put on their Facebook "I have such a migraine! Hoping it goes away!!". Um, no. That's not a migraine. If you had a migraine that you were wishing to go away, you would not be able to sit on a computer to type that to the rest of the world (yes, I go online when I've had migraines but usually when I'm in post-migraine mode). Hell, you wouldn't be able to stand any sort of light, let alone the horrible glare of a computer screen. I also hate when people in person complain about their "migraine", when standing in front of you and it's just a headache. Or when they say that what "works for them" is to take an Advil and it goes away! That isn't a migraine. People like this are the reason why most people think that a migraine headache is just someone exaggerating, or thinking it is just a headache. *Here's a tip, if it's a migraine and you push on the pain, it releives it, if it's a headache and you push where it hurts it gets worse. A migraine is too much blood on the brain, where a headache is not enough*
I get an aura, either before with mild pain (like a twitching pain), or during my migraine. Different auras I get, listed by most common:
- a "trail" being left by anything that moves. You know those video clips of people on drugs or drunk in movies or shows where everything just is in slow motion, and you can see everything move, leaving the motion as a trail behind it? That happens to me, often.
-Slurred speech
-Aphasia. I lose my ability to talk properly, sometimes completely (once I couldn't say anything for over an hour, even though I kept trying). Usually this is just me not being able to say a word, and so I get stuck on the word before it. It's not forgetting the word, just not being able to physically say it. If I was saying this right, right, right, right......*deep breath* right now. That's what it would sound like.
-Sound distortion. Things just don't sound right..they are either more pronounced, or muffled, or slurred.
-Visual distortion. Things just don't look right. Hard to explain...things are either bigger, look farther away or just don't look right.
-Sparkles, either black or white, on the side of my vision or above it.
-People and things having "halos", a white glow around them.
When the pain hits, and I don't get my prescription pain meds, I get pain that is so severe and intense that it makes me nauseous, not able to walk or function (I can't judge where walls or doors are, can't feel my body) and I feel very "out of it". This is before I take my pain medication....I look like I'm on something. My triggers vary from not enough sleep, to skipping meals, to stress, to getting emotional/crying or even just getting up to fast. Anything that would make blood rush to my head and get trapped there.
I get migraines multiple times a week. A good week for me is only getting one (and it being in the evening or weekend). I was on Topomax, which is a daily preventative migraine medication (also used for seizures and epilepsy). It worked. I still got the occasional migraine, but the key word is occasional.
What happened? Well with TTC, I can't be on this medication. Not only can I not be on it, but I had to take 2 months to wean off of it, and then 3 months completely off of it before being able to even try, since it is dangerous to fetuses. So that leaves me back to multiple migraines a week, sometimes as many as 5-6. I on average get 3-4.
They say that pregnancy usually makes migraines disappear for the duration of the time a woman is pregnant and I'm hoping and praying that I am not one of the very few that this does not happen for. I'm looking forward to not having to worry about getting a migraine or how to treat one (since I won't be able to take my pain medication) if I get one during pregnancy.
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